Blast Em! The Demon Souls of the retro shooter world!

Blast Em! – Sometimes we need a game that has the balls to slap us in the face and say “Your princess is NOT in another castle; she is dissolving in a vat of acid and I’m thinking about eating your wife” with that said I now plan to tell you why you should buy “Blast Em!” on Steam and I won’t mention at any point that proud to say the Developer (@xiotex) is here in the UK making games! Honestly, I won’t just wait and see.

I began my relationship with this game by reading the words – 34 second game… I don’t think so… I could see that the steam community were circling Blast Em! With their soon to be ruined wrists (look up carpel tunnel syndrome) and clicking the game into a corner with some fierce comments. I have to be unbiased and say some of the comments were not exactly unjustified but I’m going to explain why they are wrong and why you should pick up this game and share a little of  your hard earned currency with game developer Byron Atkinson-Jones.

Blast Em!

Blast Em! Is an indie game recently released via Steam Green Light. After speaking with a few indie developers it is easy to see the anxiety a developer can endure when they submit a game for possible future release. It’s no small task actually getting a game into the community and that is the first of my reasons for you to give this game a chance, it made the Green Light group for a reason and right now the comments in the forum are misleading opinions and you may miss out on this gem.  A Steam user writes In the forum…


         ‘Basically all you do in this game is dodge rocks and boring mundane enemies. The art is so pathetically generic and boring that if someone told me this game is a high school senior programmer project, I’d believe it.’

The reason I’m using this example is to show you that on face value you would be forgiven for walking away but hear me out. The game developers we talk to (and that is a lot spread over the podcasts we work on) all agree that games, even simple ones have a lot of work put into them, but like most things from the creative world, the simpler something is, the better is usually is. Consider this game the Clerks of the indie film world; it may look like nothing to those who pass it by or just watch the beginning, but for those of us that make it into the heart of the film, we are forever hooked and that is my second reason for you to buy this game. I think this game will have a cult following In the future, much like Smith’s Clerks, that may not line the developers pockets, but Byron Atkinson-Jones will have an audience and money can’t buy loyalty of this kind.

fire power

The game has a constantly shooting gun which can be upgraded in return for a few of your current coinage, which equates to your score in the game. You also have an option to buy a coin magnet, a three way gun and a rapid fire gun, there may be more but I’m not that good yet. I think a gun that doesn’t stop shooting was a great choice, you have no choice but to find a path through a large cloud of bullets, robots, and meteors, your chances of getting to the end is just as good as the best gamers in the steam community. That sounds odd, but some gamers can click the mouse (fire button) as quick as my cat can leave a turd in a clean room; this aspect of the game leaves you thinking about your path, it makes this game deeper than it might appear to be on the surface.

When you are good enough to get a decent score it is  entered into a leader-board, currently the highest score is 1867 points! That isn’t going to be easy to beat but practice makes perfect. Personally I think this game will be like Cannabalt. At first players will bad mouth the game and eventually leave it to those who deserve it. Then you will see an increase in scores that hard-core fans will try to beat. food for thought – If you don’t enjoy the game move on to some of the other hundreds of games in your inventory, leave a constructive comment if you don’t enjoy the game but if you can’t muster up enough energy to be at a minimum polite then I would say leave this game and your negative comments to those who can get the most out of it.

34 Seconds

On a more positive note, I would recommend this to retro gamers, that isn’t to say any kid with a shirt saying ‘Geek’ that owns a NES, but has no idea how to “tune and TV in”, but I mean REAL retro gamers like my good friend William Culver. I’m talking about guys who can get a score on a Galaxian machine so high you have to worry about the burning smell coming from the arcade machine!

Finally we should want to support Byron Atkinson-Jones, because he, like most of the indie developers, had the energy, focus and determination to say…

“Tonight, I won’t leave shitty comments on steam about games I tried for a few seconds and didn’t like! Instead I will make a game and offer it to a community of folks like me – folks that enjoy spending their spare time indoors playing with themselves!”

Did that sound wrong? Maybe, who knows? You see what I’m getting at right? Go throw this guy a few quid and play this game, it will grow on you.

That’s all from me for now, I hope you enjoyed my rant. I will try my best to get back soon. I’d hate to keep all of my depression and anxieties to myself. Take care folks and remember Brian Dunning can smell a bucket of conspiracy bullshit in 100 gallons of Internet Ocean! That’s a fact! Or at least I’m trying to sell it as one. Haha!

Follow Byron on Twitter @xiotex

Follow Brian Dunning on Twitter @BrianDunning

Follow me on twitter @vipp1990

Follow Septic Lemon on Twitter @greatbitblog